chess etiquette- rematches

I agree with the poster.

I wish people rematched more and many times I believe not playing a rematch is due to fear of losing.

People are in a rush to disregard my post as "whining". Well, this happens to me all the time, I play internet chess for more than 15 years. I always thought more or less in the same lines I just stated in the first post, and just now I wanted to create a discussion about it.

So many times it really, really made me mad. Not to lose, but being denied the opportunity to play again- I still think it's unpolite unless you have a good reason. This time I'm not mad, I'm more curious and puzzled, why people do this?

In a chess club, okay, there might be people watching the game that will play next, but eventually the players you beat are going to have the opportunity to play again. This is not "revenge", if you feel that this would be a "revenge", wouldn't that be the problem? You say that the other person should have just get over their loss, but yourself can't even think about the possibility of losing the next game, you would be so hurt that you call it a "revenge".

You say you might fear that the player might be using engine out of frustration, okay....but doesn't lichess have a very efficient anti-cheating software and monitoring? Isn't possible that the player in the second game is just playing closer to his true level? Maybe the player was not playing his best on the first game, or maybe you are not playing your best on the second game...

I know I'm not writing this out of madness, I'm feeling very calm right now. I know as well that when I lose to the same player 2 or 3 times in a row I'm usually calm and I'll thank the guy and say "good games" and then I'll go analyse the games myself. What some of you are saying aren't just excuses to being unpolite?

I do not think this will change, I know that I'll have to live with that if I intend to keep playing online, but I just thought you could reflect a little bit about this issue.... I could breathe and try not to take it personally, yes, but YOU could be as polite as you could as well. Good game, thanks, Can't rematch right now but thanks. Would it hurt to spend 5 seconds writing this?

Yes, chess is just a hobby for us, but a hobby is something you enjoy doing, something that you value, you spend your free time doing this for free.... There's no sensation like feeling that you played well, yet it feels bad when you think you did not play your best. A rematch is an opportunity to show to yourself that you can play better against the same opponent...or, the opponent can convincingly show that he is superior- and I really enjoy when I find some of those guys....

But if I win, this is not revenge, I'm not doing this to hurt the opponent, I'm trying to play my best. It would be easier to play and win against a weaker opponent, that's why you can only test your skill against the same opponent... And if I win, I always rematch, I always rematch. I too want to know if I did not win out of luck, I want to know if the opponent can show me better chess in the next game....

So what if a player has "a fear of losing?"
Some players never rematch, some occasionally if they have the time. Rematches can be prearranged.

Are players to "judge" good vs bad reasons not to rematch and say, "that reason is not good enough, therefor you are to be considered a poor sport?"

"People are in a rush to disregard my post as "whining". Well, this happens to me all the time, I play internet chess for more than 15 years. I always thought more or less in the same lines I just stated in the first post, and just now I wanted to create a discussion about it." OP

So many times it really, really made me mad. OP

hmmm... whining or a discussion?
Having played 15 years, surly the OP has seen this "discussion" repeated almost on a daily basis with the countless threads.

"So many times it really, really made me mad."

Exactly my point. You are taking this way too personally. I don't want to contribute to that.

"being denied the opportunity to play again"

There are usually over 10,000 players online ready to play you. You aren't being denied an opportunity to play again.

"yourself can't even think about the possibility of losing the next game, you would be so hurt that you call it a "revenge"."

This is simple projection. I couldn't care less about losing a chess game. I certainly don't fear it. The reason I call it a 'revenge' is that is the opponent's own words, many many times. They have literally used that word to me when trying to persuade me to play again. Has nothing to do with me.

"doesn't lichess have a very efficient anti-cheating software and monitoring? "

Yes, but the point is that I want to play humans. There is an increased chance of engine use in the second game if I play the same person again. There's not an increased chance if I play someone else. I choose the latter because I prefer the lower chance. It's not that hard to understand.

"What some of you are saying aren't just excuses to being unpolite? "

We (I) don't consider impolite. You do.

"Would it hurt to spend 5 seconds writing this? "

Why would you write something that is implied by the action? It would be like typing "I'm moving my pawn to e4" before moving my pawn to e4. Declining a rematch demonstrates pretty clearly that you don't want a rematch, so why would someone type it? This just seems weird, not polite.

"But if I win, this is not revenge, I'm not doing this to hurt the opponent, I'm trying to play my best."

Good, there are literally thousands of players on this site at any given time. They have ratings next to their names to help you find ones that are better than you. Fixating on your one opponent because he is better is just weird. Find one of the others. Again, you are acting like it's difficult when half the site's functionality is there to help you do exactly that.

mdinnerspace, no because I don't visit the forums often.

I meant this made me really mad in the past and I did not went to the forums, now I'm doing this now when I'm not mad. It can be a discussion and a discussion can be a good thing, right? But it's a nice thing to know that other people are pointing this out as well...
You can disregard their posts as "whining" or you could use the posts to reflect on your own behavior... isn't there something to reflect, even if you don't agree with me overall?

"I still think it's unpolite unless you have a good reason."

What better reason is there to not accept a rematch than the fact that you don't want to play with that person anymore?

How do you know whether the person who does not want to play with you has a reason you would grace with your approval?

The "discussion" you say you are trying to start is a neverending one, people cry about it at least once a week. If all you wanted was conversation, you could have joined in one of the other countless threads on this topic. But you didn't, because of your absurd sense of entitlement and overinflated sense of self. Why do we need to hear you say the exact same things that have been repeated a billion times? Because you're so important, that's why. This is also why you feel entitled to a match, even if the prospective opponent does not want to play with you. Because you're just so important.

Get over yourself and this petty, childish complaint. There are thousands and thousands of people playing on this site at most times of day. You are not being denied an opportunity to play chess, but rather afforded an opportunity to display your victimhood complex.

PhillipTheTank, you don't rematch often, I do. I know that on the second game it's very very rare to meet someone that are going to use engine just because he lost. You are just playing the same person again, but he may play better. People that use engine do it on the first, the second, the third game.... it doens't matter.

"Why would you write something that is implied by the action?", for the same reason you say "please", "thank you", "no, but thanks". Or at least people do it in my culture, this could be just a cultural difference.

There are thousands of players on the site, then you lose to one of them and you want to play again with this same player. The point of rematching is having the opportunity to test yourself against the same player.

" Fixating on your one opponent because he is better is just weird." Or maybe he is not better, how can I or he know this for sure? Rematching.

Chessty_McBiggins You don't even play chess, this discussion is not meant for you, sorry. You know about the countless other posts because what you do here is reading the forums, you don't play chess.

I understand what you are saying.Really, I understand it.But it's not a problem at all, isn't even a topic.

You have your own rule which say "Everybody must accept a rematch unless he leave a comment explaining why not."And in your mind people who didn't follow the rule are unpolite or whatever.
But expecting that the rest of the world accept that rule is a little naive.

Put this in your head, people can play with whoever they want and whenever they want and they do not owe you any kind of explanation, period. If you don't like it, it's your own problem.